The Virtue of Laziness

"Laziness is the habit of resting before you get tired."

So read I on a cool t-shirt which also had the pictorial representation of a reclining male, (fully clothed, you perverts!), so peaceful that he almost looked comatose.

According to me, laziness is a defining characteristic of man (equality of sexes be damned!). In fact, I positively believe that laziness is the one trait without which man cannot hope to progress. Cavemen started using the wheel because they were too lazy to walk. They started using fire as they were too lazy to chew uncooked food. They settled down because they were too lazy to look for new places to ravage.

Moving on to more modern times, the invention of progressively faster (and more comfortable) means-of-transport, microwaves, cellphones, television, computers(!) ...etc is a standing testimony to the incurable lethargy that has "plagued" our species since its very inception.

So, why does society look upon this clearly necessary quality as a disease? Were it not for lazy men (yes, yes.. and women), mankind (sorry, woman-kind is not a word) would never have moved beyond the stone-age. Yes, hard-work and dedication are useful to achieve short-term goals such as personal success, a regular paycheck, relief from hunger...etc. But in order to attain the truly meaningful long-term goals such as progress of the human race, laziness is the single most important driving force. Hence, I strongly implore all you self-righteous men and women to stop condemning people for being lazy. In fact, natural inertia should be encouraged and nurtured as a desirable virtue, and I being the laziest of all humans, should be crowned King!

Illusions of grandeur apart, we must all understand that our ultimate goal is laziness, we work hard and save up money for the sole purpose of being lazy in our final years. Everyone is lazy, some just hate to admit it.

I take this opportunity to personally congratulate each and every man, woman or child who has basked in the holy pursuit of procrastination. Be it for a minute or a millennium, laziness is our way of life.

Do leave comments, feel free to flame.
Yours Lethargically,
Sandy