The Idiotic Villager The Idiotic Villager The Idiotic Villager

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The purpose of all life.

We all know that the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42. Unfortunately, this does not help us in deriving any satisfactory conclusions. We humans, being self-aware creatures, are constantly (well, maybe not that constantly) assailed by the philosophical question, "why do I live?". In fact, unless a satisfactory answer to this question is provided, we usually find ourselves no different from the plankton in the ocean, merely drifting where the tide takes us.

Have I arrived at a satisfactory answer? Have I finally attained the ultimate enlightenment that will set me free? No, I have not. The reason for this I believe is that there is no such thing. Through simple logic we can all arrive at the conclusion that life, especially self-aware life is nothing but an un-planned accident in the utter chaos that is the universe. No, I will not accept the "Holy" bible or any other "Holy" book as proof to the contarary. As far as I am concerned, such books are simply works of fiction whose authors convieniently forgot to put in the disclaimer.

Now we come to the heart of the problem. If life has no purpose, why do we live? Why do we do the things we do? A vast majority of us struggle through life, constantly striving to attain better and better standards of living. Why? In the end, we are just going to die. Beyond that, there is nothing. At least, nothing from this world. So how do we inspire and motivate ourself, if not with promises of a non-existant afterlife? The answer is simple, we do it with what I like to call the "goal-screen".

Imagine that life is a road. A road that extends into infinity. We are all walking along that road unaware of when we will abruptly fall dead. So why do we walk at all? There is no destination on the road, so why run? This is where the goal-screen comes in. To ensure that I run on the road, I place a large screen in the distance. A screen that looks like a destination. It cuts off my vision of the eternity that I cannot comprehend and provides me with something tangible that I can reach. Hence, I run.

I don't know how much of this made sense, I apologize for the uncharacteristically large amount of non-sense in this post. This is more of an attempt to clear the clutter in own head than a proper blog post. Still, feel free to add to the mess.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

My ultimate weapon, Anger.

Anger is a beautiful emotion. I rank it second only to the ultimate pleasure experienced during an orgasm. Sometimes I even feel that a bout of anger is more pleasurable than an orgasm (at least the short male ones) because it lasts longer. Besides, one doesn't have to worry about creating a sticky mess (unless you tend to save old semen in glass jars and like to throw them around when angry; I know, yuck!)

I believe it is time we wiped the puke off the floor and pulled ourselves back to the central purpose of this post, anger. Well, it is not my intention to teach you how to control anger, rather, I am just going to ramble on about why anger is so awesome.

One reason is the sheer effect it has. The slow simmer that begins at the bottom of your belly, slowly rising up into your chest, getting warmer by the second until the burning inferno explodes in your head and the rush of adrenaline in your blood makes you feel invulnerable is surely a feeling one can get addicted to. The only problem with this is that most people forget to enjoy this feeling and tend to shoot kids with machine guns at school.

I on the other hand tend to close my eyes and savour the moment, the hot blood coursing through my veins lending strength of muscle and will to a generally weak and timid persona.

Okay, okay, enough about why I love getting angry more than having sex. Let me tell you why anger is the ultimate weapon. Anger is the ultimate weapon because I say it is.

Ah, I see that you don't trust me enough to accept it on my word. Well then, here's the real reason. Most people tend to loose control when angry. When this happens, they are extremely volatile and can me manipulated into a position of extreme disadvantage, regardless of whether it is a physical or verbal conflict, provided that you keep your head cool.

On the other hand, there are people who wish to avoid heated conflict and shy away from any hint of violence. These are the people one needs to get angry against. Get pissed, by all means, blow your top. But do remember to think clearly. This might be slightly difficult in the beginning, but eventually you will get there. Getting extremely angry and being able to think at the same time is a huge plus. This is because anger not only effects your muscles, but also your brain. I have noticed that when angry, the brain works at a much faster rate, like an over-clocked CPU.
Also, be on the lookout for signs of anger in your opponent. If you manage to get the opponent to become angry and loose control, switch immediately to the previously described cold-calculating mode.

With practice, you can hone your anger and summon as well as dismiss it at will. Like I said in one of my previous posts, the divine question, conflict is an unavoidable aspect of human life. Once you add anger to your arsenal, your chances of coming out on top are greatly increased.

Hope this helps :)
Yours Furiously,