The Idiotic Villager The Idiotic Villager The Idiotic Villager

Monday, August 24, 2009

minipost #1

There are times in life when everything else takes a back seat compared to what one is currently engaged in. This is not one of those times for me. As much as I love blogging, I haven't gotten around to making a most for several days now. So, instead letting my dear blog slowly die of neglect, I am going to use the age-old technique of mini-posting.

Keeping in tune with the accepted format of mini-posts, I write the following:

Part 1. Reason for inactivity:
Have been working(when not sleeping) on a website for a college-event with my dear friend Dave.

Part 2. Short Poem/Hastily taken photograph:
My life is in a ditch,
I know not what to do,
Female of dog is bitch,
Out of the back comes poo.

Part 3. Apologies for being inactive:

Part 4. Loving words to all readers:
Dears, Sweethearts, Honey, Sugar, Darlings... etc.

Part 5. Empty promise of future improvement:
I will be king of the world and you shall be my queen.

Do take note of the number in the title of the post. Yes, there will be more of these in days to come.

Saturday, August 15, 2009


I stepped out of my house early today morning (don't look at me like that, 11 AM is pretty early for me.) The sky was just the right shade of cloudy. A cool, wet breeze grazed past my skin. Music in my ears, a sparkle in my eyes, I thought today was a better day than most. It is then that I noticed that every single vehicle, from rusty old bicycles to swank new cars had at least two Tirangas (tri-coloured flag of India) affixed on them. All the shop fronts sported the three colours in front of the sternly closed shutters. Today was our 62nd Independence Day.

Hurray, I thought. I took a moment to remember the various flag-hoisting ceremonies that I have attended, the atmosphere full of desh-bhakti (patriotic) songs, the stiff salutes, the pride that flows through an Indian's veins as the freedom struggle is recounted in colourful detail. I watched as people with smiles walked with a renewed spring in their step, wishing each other a Happy Independence Day. Kids no higher than my waistline rushed past on bicycles, the tring-tring of their bells a testament of their joy (probably due to the sweets distributed at school.)

Although it's been 62 years, we Indians still proudly recall the struggles and sacrifices of those brave, brave freedom fighters. From Gandhi's innovative non-violent policies to the radical explosiveness of Bhagath Singh, from the silent sufferings of millions of resistant Indians to the courageous marching of Subhash Chandra Bose's army. What is more, most people I see on the street seem to share these feelings. Little paper flags pinned to their shirt-pockets indicate their patriotic spirit.

It is then that out of the corner of my eye, I notice an old woman squatting on the pavement. Her dirty Saree is in tatters, and she has no legs, and evidently no sons. Men and women pass by her; impervious to her outstretched hand, to her desperate pleadings, to her pitiable state. The children are dragged away firmly by their parents as they turn and stare at this anomaly in the universe. They all have small flags.

On the other side of the road, I spot a woman, her pallu (the loose end of her Saree) covering her head and a sizable part of her face. Her eyes are down on the road. She sees nothing but the brisk feet of her husband who walks in front of her. Yes, he has a flag on his pocket too.

A short distance away from them, an affluent(in wealth and girth) man steps out of his expensive car, right into a muddy puddle. The flag pinned to his pocket bobs up and down as his corpulent chest heaves in rage. He then proceeds to yell at his cowering driver while the smaller man tries in vain to apologize.

Just around the corner, I see another small flag. This one is not pinned onto a pocket proudly. Nor is it waving happily in a child's small hand. It is on the top of a pile of repugnant refuse. How fitting.

Are we really independent?

Unrelated Update:

Got my very own Orbi-Glow™ today! Initially I wanted the 'Original Orange' one, but then I saw the 'Popular Pink' and couldn't resist. The fact that no other colours were in stock did not influence my decision in any manner.

After stringent testing (on myself, no animals were harmed), I have determined that Orbi-Glow™ has no compatibility issues with manically evil masterminds and has absolutely no side-effects (the expression you see is not caused by Orbi-Glow™, it is an inborn feature of the model himself.)

If you are an evil person who desperately needs to appear good, cheaply, Orbi-Glow™ is for you. Get yours today only at one of my favorite blogs: The Loony Bean.

P.S Did I mention that the other posts there are just as interesting and hilarious as, if not more than, this one?

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Grand Unified Theory of Motivation

Motivation has been variously described as the driving force, the fire within and, when the describer is bored and possibly has nothing better to do than define vague terms, as “the internal condition that activates behavior and gives it direction; energizes and directs goal-oriented behavior.” Like my brothers in the hood might say, I have no beef with any of these definitions and I am certain that none of my beautiful readers have any cow's meat with them either. In fact, they serve nicely to set up the platform on which I can build my post today.

I am not going to expound on what motivation is or how to go about inculcating it in oneself and others. The purpose of this post then has to be to speculate and perhaps conclude about what motivates most, nay, all (Grand Unified, said I) people. It is pleasure. Yes, it is that plain, that simple, that commonplace, and that low. I am sure a lot of you are shaking your heads and considering swearing at me in the comments, but hold off a little longer while I blow away your beliefs and enforce mine with pure, undeniable logic or perhaps some literary hypnotism, or maybe a bit of both. Either-way, prepare to agree with me!

Let us consider the various things that supposedly motivate a huge number of people.
1.Materialistic possessions:
Includes money or things that can be bought with it and hoarded as one's property. There is no scope for an argument here, people do this for pleasure and only pleasure. Most people look down upon this motivational factor as base and even animalistic. I do not agree.
Why do people need power? (Very good John, but I was not talking about electricity.) What do they do when they obtain it? Why do they keep wanting more? Just like money, power is also an abundant source of pleasure. Thinly-veiled, the specter of pleasure smiles from behind the mask of power.
To be known to a large number of people; to be doted on; to be followed, praised, lifted in the air, cheered for; to be criticized, talked about, and sometimes even hated; to see one's name or face in print or other media. Those of you who imagined these things while reading are sure to be feeling good, feeling pleasured. This is because fame and glory is nothing but another source of pleasure.
Acts of kindness, selflessness, charity; working for the greater good; doing what others want; helping the needy... etc. These acts are also carried out solely for pleasure. Take a moment and ask yourself, the last time you helped someone or sacrificed something so someone else could benefit, what did you feel? The answer has to be pleasure.
There might be difficulty accepting this Grand Unified Theory at first. If that is the case, then look closely at this text; yes, closely. Do not look elsewhere. You are beginning to believe. You are feeling better about agreeing with me. You are liking what I am telling you. You will make me the prime-beneficiary in your will. You will help me take over this world and crown myself King! Oh well, it was worth a shot. Looks like the 'well-spent' 10 bucks on Literary Hypnotism 101 were not so well-spent after all.

So now on to plan C. The difficulty to accept this theory is mostly due to the fact that most humans wish to believe that they are in certain ways superior to animals. I won't claim that they are not, I do not wish to be branded as an animalist (an advocate of the doctrine that people are just animals). However, I find that all motivational factors have their roots deeply buried in pleasure. Contradiction is evident here, but I have found a way out. (Yes, I understand your mental imagery of me as an eel. It's alright, no offense taken.)

According to me, pleasure is more human than animal. There was a time when humans openly embraced pleasure as something holy and divine. Unfortunately, most modern religions decided that this did not serve their purpose of rapid expansion and control and hence branded pleasure as a base and animal-like quality. This, I believe, is the reason that humans are in denial about their driving force and look for and invent alternate ones.

Do post your thoughts in the comments.
Pleasurably Yours,

P.S: Yes, I am pretending that I have not been inactive for a week and that I am not at all sorry about it.